Legally Undead Read online

  Sheila gave us a quick tour of the suite of offices, showed us the cleaning supply closet, then gathered up her bag to leave.

  “The door will automatically lock behind you when you leave the suite. Be sure to sign out with security at the front desk before you leave the building—they’ll want to check your bags. Don’t take it personally; we all have to do it.”

  Then she was gone, and there we were, alone in the law offices of Forster, Pearson, and Sims.

  Chapter 7

  We started in the main office and worked our way back. That meant that we would hit the records room about a third of the way through our work. I was hoping that we’d find what we needed there, but I wanted to be thorough just in case the records relating to vampires weren’t kept with the rest of the files. I know that if I wanted to hide vampire records, I wouldn’t want them out where any one of my colleagues might stumble upon them.

  Then again, often the best place to hide something is out in plain sight.

  We cleaned the offices one by one, emptying trash cans into a large black plastic bag—we’d sort through it once we got home—then dusting, then vacuuming. We took turns blocking the video cameras in the hallway and the conference rooms in various ways—standing in front of a camera, standing in front of each other—while we quickly searched the contents of the shelves and desks. Nothing.

  When we got to the records room, I wiped down the file cases with a cleaning cloth. The room was small, so I left while Malcolm moved in with the vacuum cleaner. Then he “accidentally” ran the vacuum into the plug against the wall, knocking the video camera’s cord out of the socket. He left the vacuum running and moved to the files, while I moved to another office, hoping to keep any watching security guard’s attention on me, rather than the blacked-out video camera.

  We met in the hall a few minutes later.

  “Anything interesting?” I whispered.

  “Not really. I didn’t have much time, of course, but I flipped through your ex’s file—just the standard contract and W-4 information. I checked payroll, too, to see if there were any unusual names on it. Not much really—your ex is on it, of course, and there’s some guy named Nick Calvani doing an awful lot of expensive contract work for them. Private investigator, maybe?”

  “Okay, then. Let’s keep looking.” I headed into the next cubbyhole office, then stopped.

  “Wait. What month did you look at?”

  “Um. Last month. Why?”

  “And Greg was on the payroll? The one for the month that ended three days ago?”

  Malcolm nodded. “Yes,” he said slowly, eyeing me.

  “For the full month?” I asked.

  “Well, yeah. He works here, doesn’t he?”

  “Oh. Right. Yeah. Of course he does.” I opened the cubbyhole door and began dusting, my mind racing.

  For a moment, I had forgotten that I hadn’t told Malcolm everything. He didn’t know that Greg was technically dead. That he was a vampire. That this was a law firm with a vampire-fighting division, a division that had clear information about Greg getting turned into a vampire. That there was absolutely no way that Greg should still be on their payroll.

  And now Malcolm was suspicious. Dammit.

  I stuck my head out into the hall where Malcolm had continued vacuuming.

  “Did you plug the video camera back in?” I asked.

  “Nope. I figured it would look more realistic if we acted as if we noticed it on our way out.”

  “Good. I’m going to take a quick look.”

  In the records room, I looked under V for vampire, D for dead, U for undead, B for blood. Nothing.

  I came out of the room waving a dust rag as if I’d left it behind and gone back in to find it, just in case anyone was watching. Then I moved as casually as possible into what had been Greg’s tiny office.

  Nothing in it had changed since the last time I’d been there. His desk was almost compulsively neat, a small framed picture of the two of us the only thing on display beside his computer. He had always been a lot neater than I was. He’d never even kept papers out on his desk at home.

  His wastebasket was full to overflowing, though, so I dumped its contents into the garbage bag.

  Then I finally realized what I had only subconsciously noted before: his computer was on his desk.

  There were no video cameras in the small offices.

  I took a deep breath and sat down in front of the monitor, wondering if he’d been smart enough to change the password he’d used for as long as I could remember.

  Nope.

  I was in.

  And there, right in the “My Documents” file, was exactly what I’d been looking for. An entire sub-file entitled simply “V.” I opened it and began printing out the documents one by one, not stopping to read them.

  Not very stealthy for a vampire, I thought. You’d think the Evil Undead would be a bit more subtle. But then, Greg had never been subtle. Smart, a little unpredictable, but never subtle.

  And now his lack was my luck.

  I had just hit the “print” command for the last document when the vacuum cleaner in the hall shut off and I heard Malcolm’s voice, pitched just a tad too loud for the silent office.

  “Hello, sir. Hope we’re not in your way. Just cleaning up here.”

  “Not at all. Where’s the regular cleaning crew?” The voice that answered Malcolm was deep, with just a touch of a southern accent. And it made me freeze in my tracks. It was Greg.

  I hit the power button on the computer, not even bothering to shut it down first. I also grabbed the printouts from the computer, folded them in half, and shoved them down the front of my pants, under the stuffing in the pantyhose.

  I took a deep breath, hoping my disguise would fool the man—now the monster—I’d lived with and loved for the last several years. He didn’t seem to recognize Malcolm as the man I’d knocked over in our chase across campus; I hoped Greg had been too intent on me that night to pay any attention to Malcolm. And vice versa, actually.

  Okay, God, I prayed silently, I’ll make you a deal. Let us get out of this and I’ll start going to church. I’ll go every Sunday from now on. I’m not sure God is the sort to make deals, but I was certainly willing to try.

  It took all my nerve to walk out into that hallway. I kept my head down and moved straight to the office across the hall.

  Greg spared me a brief glance, turning his attention immediately back to Malcolm.

  I sighed a tiny, almost silent, sigh of relief.

  But then out of the corner of my eye I saw Greg’s nostrils widen. His head snapped up like he’d smelled something odd. Like a predator catching wind of prey.

  As he turned his head to look at me again, I slipped into the office and began dusting the desk, carefully picking up objects, wiping them off, and replacing them just as I’d found them.

  Greg moved to his own office and leaned against the door frame. He spoke to Malcolm, but I could feel his eyes on me, two stinging spots on my back, as if his mere look carried an evil that could physically burn me.

  “So you’re the new cleaning crew?” he asked Malcolm.

  “I sure hope so. This is just a trial run. We’re hoping to lure your company away with our lower prices.” I could hear the grin in Malcolm’s voice. He was a surprisingly good actor.

  Then again, maybe he really didn’t recognize Greg. He’d had only a glimpse of him on campus.

  “I see.” No smile in Greg’s voice. “Well, I’ll let you get on with it. If, that is, you’re done in here?” I knew that last was directed at me, but I didn’t turn around.

  “We’ll just finish up in there when you’re done, sir. Or whenever you’re ready for us to,” said Malcolm.

  “I’ll let you know.” Greg stepped into his office and shut the door.

  My shoulders slumped in relief. I looked up at Malcolm, but he shook his head and indicated that I should just keep on cleaning.

  The next twenty minutes were sheer to
rture. Malcolm kept up a cheerful chatter, all about people I had never heard of and who probably didn’t even exist. In the meantime, we simply cleaned. I didn’t feel safe prying into anything with Greg in the suite. I could feel the papers I’d printed out rubbing against my stomach, and I wondered if vampires really had preternatural hearing like some of the books said. If so, I was doomed; Greg was sure to hear the paper crackling against my skin.

  I still don’t know if Malcolm realized who Greg was until I cornered him in the men’s bathroom and hissed “that’s my ex!” to him. He just nodded and went back to wiping down the counter.

  We were just about to head into the first of the back offices when the door to Greg’s office opened.

  All the fear I’d managed to suppress came rushing back in and I froze with my hand on the doorknob, half turned back toward Greg, half avoiding his gaze.

  He stood in the doorway staring at me, his nostrils flaring.

  After a long moment he turned to Malcolm.

  “I’m done here. You can clean my office now. Be sure to check out with the security guard when you leave.”

  “Sure thing, boss.” Malcolm’s voice was all hail-fellow-well-met.

  Greg’s voice wasn’t. “And please see that you finish cleaning my office. I don’t believe it’s been thoroughly dusted.” His voice was cold. It had none of the gentle undertones I had loved. This voice sounded of cruelty and anger.

  This creature really wasn’t Greg anymore.

  With that thought, I turned the handle and walked into the first of the partners’ offices. I sensed more than saw Greg move away from his own doorway as the office door swung shut behind me and I began dusting.

  A few moments later, Malcolm joined me.

  “Let’s get this done and get the hell out of here,” he said.

  “Sure thing, boss.” I echoed his words to Greg.

  Malcolm looked over at me and for the first time all night I saw the fear he’d been covering up. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face.

  “That was a close call.” Oh, if only he knew. “For a minute there, I thought he’d recognized you.”

  “I thought so, too. But apparently not. Are you sure he’s gone?”

  “Walked him to the door myself and locked it behind him.”

  “Okay, then. I’m finished in here.”

  “Did you find anything in Greg’s office?”

  “Yeah. I’ve got a bunch of papers. I don’t know what they say. Let’s wait until we get out of here to check them out.”

  “Okay. But I still want to check in the bosses’ offices, just in case.”

  As Malcolm moved the chairs back into place and began to vacuum the rest of the room, I walked to the next office.

  I had just stepped inside the doorway when a hand came down over my mouth. I was jerked backwards, hard up against the body that had been waiting behind the door.

  Greg buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply.

  Then he let out one of those creepy vampire hisses, and I could feel his breath brush against my shoulder.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you? You might look different, but you smell exactly the same.”

  Chapter 8

  “Don’t scream. Don’t let your new boyfriend out there know I’m still here.” Greg’s whispered instructions seemed more than a little redundant, as he still had his hand clamped firmly down over my mouth. He held me so tightly that I could barely move, but I managed a slight nod. He eased his hand away from my mouth and loosened his grip enough for me to take a step away from him.

  I glanced around for something to serve as a weapon, but there wasn’t anything nearby. My letter opener was in the cleaning bucket in the other office. I had a chopstick under my shirt, but it would take some effort to fish it out. I didn’t think I had time. I needed to find better places to hide my weapons.

  “Where have you been hiding, Elle? I missed you.” Greg’s voice was cool, slightly mocking.

  “Don’t call me Elle. Don’t say my name at all. In fact, don’t talk to me.” I was babbling, my fear was bubbling up and spilling out into words.

  “My, my,” Greg laughed softly, “aren’t we defensive? I just asked where you’ve been. I came home and you were just…”—he raised both hands, palms upwards, and gently shrugged—“gone. Poof. Disappeared. And the next time I came home, all of your things had gone with you. Along with several of mine.” He took a step closer, and I backed toward the desk.

  “Then I try to talk to you at school and you run from me. What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He backed me up against the desk and I leaned as far away from him as possible.

  This was definitely not the Greg I knew. The Greg I knew wouldn’t have tried to intimidate me. Maybe other people—he’d always had that streak in him, something slightly aggressive that made him want to win; it was why he’d become a lawyer. But he would never have tried to frighten me. Vampire-Greg, however, wanted me scared.

  I didn’t want to be scared. I was tired of being scared. But I couldn’t seem to help it. I mean, he was a vampire. And vampires are inherently creepy. And he’d talked about smelling me, which had a pretty big ick factor all by itself.

  I aimed for bravado, anyway.

  “You were dead, Greg. I saw you. I didn’t want to stay in the apartment where my fiancé had just died.”

  “I’m not dead, Elle. I’m right here, right in front of you.” His voice had gotten even softer than before. It sent chills up my spine. “You could come home to me, Elle. I miss you.”

  Oh, no. Please tell me that my vampiric ex-fiancé was not trying to get back together with me.

  Oh, but he was. “Nothing has to change, Elle.”

  “You’re a vampire, Greg. You drink blood to stay alive.” Sometimes it’s best to state the obvious, just in case someone has missed its significance.

  “So? Diabetics inject human insulin to stay alive.”

  “That’s not the same thing!”

  “Isn’t it? It’s all about the blood, Elle.”

  “So you’re claiming what? That vampirism is a disease?” I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. This was far too much like a fight we could have had when we lived together—minus the “you’re a vampire” bit, of course.

  “You could put it that way. We were good together, Elle. We could be again.” He stared into my eyes. His were brown, just as I remembered them, brown and soft. And warm and inviting. I felt myself leaning toward him. Maybe he was right. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to just go home together. Forget that all of this had ever happened. Just go home and sit on our couch, staring into his eyes. His eyes. Something about his eyes.

  Suddenly his nostrils flared and he jerked his head toward the door, breaking our eye contact. Just as suddenly, I felt my head clear from the dangerous haze that had enveloped it without my even noticing. I took a step back, farther away from Greg.

  He moved back toward the side of the door so that he would be behind it when it opened.

  And then he…. Look. I know that “melted into the shadows” is a cliché. But that’s what he did. He stepped backwards, and then the light sort of swirled around him. Like the way sugar crystals disappear in iced tea, he just dissolved.

  So. Things I Know For Sure About Vampires: One, they can be killed with a wooden stick. Two, once they’re dead they just lie there. Three, they really can hypnotize you with their eyes. And four, they can dissolve into shadows.

  The door opened and Malcolm stuck his head through. “Find anything in here?” he asked.

  “Um. No. Not yet.”

  “Well, let’s hurry up and finish so we can get the hell out of here.”

  “Can’t we just leave now?” I asked, my voice shaking.

  “We really ought to finish cleaning. We don’t want to give them any reason to suspect that we were here for anything other than we claimed. I’m going to the next office.”

  “I’ll come with you.” My voice fairly sque
aked by the end of the sentence and Malcolm gave me a strange look, but I wasn’t about to stay in the room with Greg hiding in the shadows.

  I don’t know how I knew that he would leave me alone while I was with Malcolm. I suppose it was a pretty good guess, given the fact that he’d waited until I was alone to try to talk to me. And I could argue that since I knew Greg was a vampire and Malcolm didn’t, I had a better shot at defending us if Greg decided to attack. But I have to admit that I wasn’t thinking about it even that clearly. I just wanted to get away from Greg and I didn’t want to be alone. So I followed Malcolm into the third office.

  We cleaned up in there pretty quickly. I realized when I emptied the trash into my big plastic garbage bag that my hands were shaking. Badly. But I managed to do a fairly good job of dusting and even managed to block the camera with my body while Malcolm rummaged through the desk.

  That made me think about my exchange with Greg—was it all recorded on the video camera in Pearson’s office? That thought made me break out into a sweat, but since there really wasn’t anything I could do about it, I finally decided to leave it alone.

  In retrospect, I sometimes wonder why I didn’t tell Malcolm that Greg was back in the office. It might have saved us a whole lot of trouble later on. But he’d want to know how Greg had gotten in without attracting our attention, and trying to explain that might have led to some sort of explanation of the whole vampire thing, and I really didn’t want to go there. Not yet.

  I should have. I realize that now. But I didn’t.

  So when we walked back into Pearson’s office together to finish the cleaning job I hadn’t really started earlier, I was the only one frantically scanning the shadows for any swirly vampirey shapes.

  I didn’t see any. What I did see was a piece of paper folded in half sitting on Pearson’s desk. I was certain it hadn’t been there before.

  While Malcolm vacuumed, I dusted the room. I waited until his back was to me, then picked up the paper and glanced down at it. I quickly crumpled it into a ball and shoved it into my pocket. My hands were shaking again.

  The note was in Greg’s handwriting. It read, “We’re not done talking. I’ll find you. G.”